Premature ejaculation (Rapid Ejaculation)
This fact
sheet provides some helpful information on premature ejaculation, now
often referred to as rapid ejaculation.
What is rapid ejaculation?
Rapid ejaculation
describes the condition where a man ejaculates (comes) too quickly.
In
its severe form, the man comes before any direct stimulation of the penis
occurs, just thinking about a sexually stimulating situation triggers his
ejaculation. This is rare. It is more common for the man to ejaculate
either during or very soon after penetration into the vagina or
anus.
Just how too soon is too soon?
Studies have shown
that most men ejaculate within 3 to 5 minutes after penetration. Obviously
some men regularly last much longer than this just as there are men who
regularly ejaculate much quicker.
The most important criteria of rapid ejaculation are that
ejaculation occurs sooner than the man and his partner wishes and this is
causing distress in their sexual relationship. It is important to take the
partner's wishes and expectations into account because what may seem rapid
to the man may already be too long for their partner.
How common is rapid ejaculation?
Rapid ejaculation is
the most common sexual problem affecting men.
Most men will experience
rapid ejaculation on some occasions.This is nothing to worry about.
It
becomes a problem only when it occurs during most sexual interactions.
Studies show that up to 40% of men are troubled by this problem on more
than an occasional basis.
At what age does rapid ejaculation occur?
Rapid
ejaculation occurs at any age, but is more common in the younger man. The
occurrence of rapid ejaculation can be related more to the novelty of the
sexual experience ( i.e. new partner or a different situation) than to the
man's age.
What are the effects of rapid ejaculation?
Persistent
rapid ejaculation can have detrimental effects on sexual functioning of
both the man and his partner.
Often, the rapid ejaculator complains of reduced or even absent
sensation of ejaculation. It can lead to inability to sustain an erection
and loss of sexual desire. This is usually because the man becomes so
preoccupied trying to control his ejaculation that it stops him being
absorbed in the pleasures of the sexual act. Frequently the man reduces
the length of time spent on foreplay and as a result his partner may not
have sufficient stimulation or feels rushed.
Female partners may experience painful intercourse because of
inadequate lubrication and this increase the man's anxiety and leads to
ejaculating even more rapidly then usual. Often, the overall result is
reduced frequency of love making which again will make the man ejaculate
more rapidly. Men who suffer from rapid ejaculation may avoid
relationships or sexual situations. Men who have sex with men may avoid
penetrative sex or establish being the receptive partner with anal
sex.
What causes rapid ejaculation?
It is extremely rare for
rapid ejaculation to be caused by a physical disease or conditions.
Most men in the first experiences of sexual intercourse tend to
ejaculate quickly and often the situation in which these first experiences
occur predispose to rapid ejaculation (e.g. a snatched few minutes with
girl/boyfriend whilst their parents are out or in the back seat of a car).
As the man's experience of intercourse increases and the
environment in which lovemaking becomes more secure, the man learns to
control his ejaculation. Some causes for a man's failure to learn to
control his ejaculation are anxiety, guilt and feelings of unworthiness as
a lover. All of these negative feelings are made worse by repeated
failures to control ejaculation which leads to further anxiety and
deterioration. Any derogatory remarks made by the man's partner, perhaps
unintended to hurt him, compound the
problem.
Sensitiveness
Most men if asked what part of
your penis is more sensitive will reply, " I don't know", "all of it", or
" I've never really thought of that". Men are not taught how to
masturbate, thus there are many ways for a man to masturbate. Some men
avoid sensitive area, or only touch these parts during masturbation when
they want to orgasm. So when they enter their partner this maybe the only
time that the penis is in a tight, moist environment and the man
experiences a " too sensitive" feeling and rapid ejaculation. This leads
the man onto believing that he has no control over rapid
ejaculation.
Foreskins
Some men masturbate by keeping their
foreskin over the head of their penis. Thus when the penis is entering a
partner a man experiences a "too sensitive" feeling leading to rapid
ejaculation. Some men may have a tight foreskin or in the past have torn
their foreskin or frenulum (where the foreskin is attached to the
underside of the head of the penis) causes them to either be more
sensitive or causing anxiety at the thought of being hurt
again.
How can I overcome rapid ejaculation?
Most men can
overcome the problem of rapid ejaculation, but many will require
specialist help.
In the first place you should discuss the problem
with your partner. Even though you feel that you ejaculate too quickly
your partner may be perfectly satisfied with your "performance".
Some
men find that if they increase the frequency of ejaculations, perhaps by
masturbation, then they become less rapid.
A simple training
procedure is to stimulate your penis (either yourself or by your partner)
but stop stimulation before you ejaculate. Then rest for 30 to 60 seconds
and then start stimulating your penis again stopping short of ejaculation.
You should repeat this cycle of stimulation- rest- further stimulation
five or six times before allowing yourself to ejaculate every time you
masturbate on your own or have sex with a partner.
Some doctors
are prescribing an anti-depressant which has a side effect of retarding
ejaculation. Anti-depressants have not been government approved or trialed
for the treatment of rapid ejaculation.
Sex shops sell delaying products; are they
helpful?
Products sold in sex shops or by mail order have not been
properly evaluated. The products usually have a local anesthetic
component which reduces sensitivity when applied to the penis.
What if I cannot overcome the problem myself?
You
should consult your doctor or a sexual health counselor. Your doctor
maybe able to give you helpful advice or refer you to a specialist.
Or you can phone Impotence Australia for a list of local Health
Professionals.